Time to kick off this post with a priceless quote by Dale Carnegie. “About ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be”.

It’s true you know (and I am certainly one of those ninety-nine, although I strive not to be). Case in point: disgruntled event organisers who are personally offended every time I won’t do exactly what they tell me to do.

People who organize music events/parties want to have maximum exposure/promotion for a minimum of cost. So, naturally, they submit their event details to me, for inclusion in the GO Magazine clubbing calendar.

I on the other hand, make decisions about which events make the front page, and which do not. As you might have guessed, most do not make the front page. There simply is not enough room there. What I print on the front page, is the big names, huge artists, popular venues, mega-events. It makes sense, no? These draw the largest crowds.

Every once in a while though, I will get a nasty email demanding to know why I did not list small-ass event X on the front page. My reply is always courteous. You’d think that most people have the basic intelligence to guess the answer, but apparently not. But, that’s not all. No sir. My reply will, in most cases, only add fuel to the fire.

You see, when I try to explain, in kind words, that someone’s event is just too insignificant to be listed on the front page, people take it personally. It eats at them. It gnaws, it brings out their insecurities and echos in their brains, nee, it reverberates, louder, louder and louder until….

they reply they let it all out. I am unprofessional, I run a small website anyway, I don’t know what I am doing, I this I that you suck and, joy of joys, they proceed to demand I remove their information at once since obviously it is of absolutely no use to them.

Sigh.

These people make me tired, tired. Dear (you know who you are). Take a look outside. Then take a look inside. You are putting on a 5 euro event in a provincial town with DJs nobody has heard of. Do you really have a right to be printed on a national magazine’s front page? Or could it be, just maybe, that our scales are too different in this particular case?

If you can wrap your head around that, you surely must realise I mean you no disrespect, I still will print your event in the local listing for the area and your event can still be found deeper inside my website. Also, really you should know that if you book a well-known artist you will make front page without trouble.

Don’t insult my intelligence by demanding this or that and don’t ruin three minutes of my day by calling me names. That shit’s just not cool. And don’t “threaten” me with removing me from your press mailing list or denying accreditation. Really, it is not possible for me to care less. Really.

Rant off.